When Cancer Calls
No one is ready to hear the word Cancer. Cancer happens to other people, but certainly not me. It's a fictitious word that others experience, a reality that can't be fully understood or sympathized with... until it becomes my reality.
On January 31, 2019, I just finished my dreaded colonoscopy; I know.. TMI!! Let me just say, it's a good thing no one told me how bad the "Prep" was going to be... You know,...the yucky, salty, chalk like drink that you have to drink the day before, followed by an EXORBITANT amount of water (that even an elephant couldn't drink,) in efforts to flush your colon, sanity, and all things rational?! Only to REPEAT the process a few hours later, all while trying not to throw it back up, because all that effort and toil would be wasted!! This my dear friend is the definition of INSANITY!
I was still a little groggy, just having come off the anesthesia, when the doctor walked in and got right to the point. "It's not good," he said. "We found a tumor and It's stage three colon cancer."... NOTHING...I heard absolutely NOTHING that man said after those words! I spent the next few moments wondering if he was maybe joking, or maybe I'm a little "loopy" from the medicine and I heard him wrong. I looked at my husband as he looked back at me...we were speechless...STUNNED!
AND YET...an amazing peace and calm came over my spirit. Suddenly, every TRUTH I had read in my Bible, every PROMISE God had made in my time spent with Him, every journal I wrote morning after morning, applying God's word, suddenly wrapped itself around me. WHY, was not the thought, ANGER, was not the feeling, FEAR was not the emotion. You see, right away, I knew God was DRAWING me! He was calling me into a DEEPER walk with Him. I had experienced the wilderness before, and to be honest...I missed it. Yep, you heard that right, I missed it! Why we equate the unknown, the place of complete dependance on our creator as a BAD thing, is just proof of our complete dependance on ourselves. The wilderness is where you experience God. The wilderness is where all resources are gone. The wilderness is where God lead the children of Israel, just to speak TENDERLY to her, Hosea 2:14. The wilderness is where I see God, His POWER, His PROVISION, and His SUSTAINING STRENGTH. Only through a wilderness journey are all resources completely drained and all options futile... We are forced to depend completely on God...hmm.. it's almost like He planned it that way;)
If you are joining me on my wilderness journey, then let me just say, "WELCOME," followed by, It's not always gonna be roses and unicorns, and it most certainly will have MANY TYPOS AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS lol... if this truth is hard for you to swallow, or a comma out of place makes you nauseous, then this is the wrong BLOG for you!!:) BUT... what I can promise you is HONESTY! For example, how I'm feeling, how many days I can go without taking a shower, if I neglected saying goodnight to my kids because I was selfish and didn't want to leave the bed, encouragement and truth I'm getting through my time with God, correction I'm getting through my time with God, and last but not least...how I feel about insurance! lol:)
My name is Georgia and I have stage three Adenocarcinoma. Welcome to my journey...
